grandma shit on top of the toilet
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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