So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
