Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
