wat bout pragnant strippers??
dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize
