Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize