oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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