my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
