That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
Houston, we have a squirter
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
