Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Randomize
