My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
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