Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
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