Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Watching her eat just hurts me
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
Randomize
