then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Can you repeat that, but with context?
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Randomize
