go do what you do best...puke behind churches
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Randomize
