Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
