Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Randomize
