i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Randomize
