6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
