Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Randomize
