im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Randomize
