i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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