Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
