I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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