Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
