i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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