I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Randomize
