He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
