He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
