my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize
