I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
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