Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
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