My sheets look like a crime scene.
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
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