i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
