i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
Randomize
