When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
I'm passing your future prison.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Randomize
