you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
i think im in europe. pls send help
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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