Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
