You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Randomize
