Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
