Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
Randomize