if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
