Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Randomize