Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Randomize
