took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
