break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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