we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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