I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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