Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
