I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
I just found puke in my bra..
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
