He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
