haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
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