I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Randomize
