I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize
