i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
Randomize
