Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
