As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
