It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Randomize
