Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
