Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
