we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
