if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
